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Sugar Rush
June 16, 2021|Short Story

Sugar Rush

Sugar Rush

Driving at full speed on an empty road. Gabin could only think about getting back on time. A state audit surprised him in the middle of the afternoon. The inspectors were ready to review the factory’s operations.

The inspectors were being entertained by some company employees, while Gabin pressed the accelerator of his car as soon as the light turned green. It had been five weeks since he finally, after so much effort, managed to qualify for the environmental standards. Unfortunately, the certificates were still inside a folder in a room of his family’s house.

This was the perfect opportunity to make use of something that he worked to get. But the certificates were still too far from him.

Traveling at full speed, he could imagine the inspectors walking around the facility and looking for a mistake.

Looking at the doors of his house garage gave him a much needed reassurance… he hurried out of the vehicle and ran home. He noticed that the place was unusually empty, but gave it little attention. Gabin rushed upstairs and entered a small living room on the second floor.

This was the first time that beauty dazzled Gabin. He immediately caught a glimpse of the beautiful figure of a stranger on top of the small table in the center of the room. His senses completely focused on her…Gabin didn’t notice but, for an instant, he could sense the fragrance of the stranger from the group of people present.

“What’s going on?” he asked with a smile, turning to get a better angle of her.

Gabin uselessly pretended that the girl wasn’t the only one present in the room. His eyes looked her up from head to toe, just for a moment before looking away from her.

“Do you think she looks cute?” said someone around him. Of course, at that moment, Gabin couldn’t recognize the person who was talking to him.

“We are preparing the dress for tonight,” said someone else.

Gabin looked at her again. She was dazzling, a beauty difficult to behold for long. Without realizing it, he began to breathe through his mouth and turned towards the group.

“What are you getting her ready for?” Gabin asked.

“You’re invited too,” the words came out like the sweetest melody Gabin has ever heard. The phrase was the closing line of a spell. He felt his body lightening, and his view narrowed.

Gabin looked up. The girl’s sweet red lips glowed. He slowly looked upward until he met the depth of her blue eyes.

The words stuck inside of Gabin’s throat; leaving him speechless. “You look… great,” he finally said, controlling his heart’s voice.

It needed to express all the beauty that he was admiring. However, Gabin lowered his gaze and tried to remember the reason for him getting home early.

“I wish you luck,” Gabin said, looking into her eyes again. Imagining the feeling of the soft skin on her face. “I’ll see you there.”

With that, Gabin left the room and tried to go back to what he was doing. Although, for some reason, it was very difficult to remember. The only thing he could focus his attention on was the beauty of the girl, and his plans began to revolve around seeing her again.

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Sebastian Iturralde

I am a fiction blogger and lover of literature, art, and all things creative. As a citizen of this beautiful planet, I am constantly inspired by the natural world around me.

176 comments

  • June 16, 2021 at 1:00 pm

    “The phrase was the closing line of a spell” Love it <3

  • June 16, 2021 at 1:53 pm

    Beautifully articulated. Thank you.

  • June 16, 2021 at 2:15 pm

    “You look… great,” he finally said, controlling his heart’s voice. Well done. Nice turn of phrase.

  • June 16, 2021 at 2:50 pm

    Beautiful pic. Makes me wonder we ever prepared for a surprise?

    • June 17, 2021 at 8:01 am

      Remember we are not just listening to stories we are inspiring our own minds. If you like the blog on this site, please like, comment and site

    • June 20, 2021 at 12:59 pm

      The best way to be prepared is to leave the fear behind.

  • Fungai Willard
    June 16, 2021 at 3:09 pm

    I love the way you build up suspense.It’s provocative. Well done!

    • June 20, 2021 at 1:01 pm

      I still wonder if he got the papers before he left the house.

      • November 10, 2021 at 9:21 am

        Yes…This!

  • June 16, 2021 at 5:42 pm

    Hmmm… to Gavin, the ‘words came out like the sweetest melody.’ So why do I get the feeling that the tone was not? I got an inclination that he’s in for a rude awakening. For this girl, if she is, is more than meets the eye…
    🇯🇲🏖️

  • June 16, 2021 at 9:42 pm

    My beloved is to me the most fragrant apple tree – he stands above the sons of men

  • June 17, 2021 at 12:01 am

    Hmm! The girl that got Gabin speechless, who is she Seb?

    • June 20, 2021 at 1:04 pm

      She is the wizard’s assistant from a dream.

      • June 20, 2021 at 4:58 pm

        Little wonder Gabin was speeches at her sight, yet couldn’t do anything.🤐. Nice one .

  • June 17, 2021 at 12:40 am

    👍

  • June 17, 2021 at 1:13 am

    I remember, when one is under pressure, the mind can play mysterious games!

  • Vashti singh
    June 17, 2021 at 3:49 am

    Can’t wait to read more👏👏

  • Samiah Arshad
    June 17, 2021 at 6:37 am

    I am glad that you are on your way to achieve your goal. Good luck and keep it up 👍🏼

    • June 17, 2021 at 8:02 am

      Remember we are not just listening to stories we are inspiring our own minds. If you like the blog on this site, please like, comment and site

    • June 20, 2021 at 1:08 pm

      I’ve discovered that writing is a journey and I’m here for the long haul.

  • June 17, 2021 at 7:22 am

    That kind of suspense is a killer. Very well written.

  • June 17, 2021 at 8:09 am

    Very true and life experiences make us never to take things for granted….. l guess.

  • June 17, 2021 at 11:59 am

    Dropped by to say thank you 🙂 You’ll know for what 🙂

  • June 17, 2021 at 12:42 pm

    My gosh you are prolific, and you work in such a huge range of genres. And, of course, love the art! 🙂

  • June 17, 2021 at 1:42 pm

    Loved it and want to read more

  • June 17, 2021 at 2:33 pm

    I like your basic intent, but the commercials or ads kept breaking up the story flow. Was the girl real or a portrait? It would be interesting if she were, but its not my story. I hope you continue so I can figure some things out without the interruptions. Very good.

    • June 21, 2021 at 4:57 pm

      I’ve sorted the issue with the appropriate parties. Let me know if it happens again.

  • June 17, 2021 at 8:13 pm

    💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

  • June 17, 2021 at 8:35 pm

    The first thing that came to my mind was the sirens on the sea and the poor sailors drown into her dangerous web. I think it was the her voice that cemented that idea in my mind. I am intensely interested to see what disaster she wreaks!

  • June 17, 2021 at 11:17 pm

    Wow amazing ! Iam waiting more!

  • June 18, 2021 at 12:23 am

    Beautiful story. I cannot wait for the rest. Feel free to look at my stories too. https://bit.ly/35yNKPg
    It is a ‘true story blog’

    • June 18, 2021 at 7:42 am

      I just figured out it is you sebastain. Thank you for following my blog and liking my stories. You have been such a huge support to me. And I totally enjoy your writing.

    • June 21, 2021 at 5:05 pm

      I’m always looking for new and exciting blogs.

  • June 18, 2021 at 12:46 am

    Peace and light Sabaistian, thankyou for checking my blogs out, I really appreciate it 🙏

  • June 18, 2021 at 12:47 am

    I would like to start writing fiction some day,

  • June 18, 2021 at 1:03 am

    Hey! This seems like such a lovely post. I am just 13 and I have learnt quite some things on your blog. I am looking forward to reading your posts. I have a baking blog of my own and I would love it if you check it out. It would be great if you let me know your thoughts about it. Also, follow if you like and feel free to give suggestions!

  • June 18, 2021 at 4:16 am

    Loved the writing, can’t stop before I end it up

  • June 18, 2021 at 4:19 am

    Nice story. Thanks for liking my blog, sebastian. God bless

  • June 18, 2021 at 5:03 am

    Thanks for liking my story Danny I love the way you come up with your stories

  • June 18, 2021 at 10:33 am

    Beauty can really be overwhelmingly distracting and lead to a rush of adrenaline! A good one indeed!

  • June 18, 2021 at 11:00 am

    Love this, I was just imagining the whole scene in my head 😇

  • June 18, 2021 at 11:55 am

    Hey bro amazing content n thank u so much for visiting my blog. Means a lot dude.

  • Beth Margret
    June 18, 2021 at 7:24 pm

    Cant wait for more !!

  • June 18, 2021 at 10:48 pm

    Thanks, Sebastian it’s an old story which really did touch me .i changed it a bit

  • June 19, 2021 at 12:17 am

    Please follow my writing instagram page mystiq_surbhi

  • June 19, 2021 at 4:42 am

    Hi good day please can we chat on WhatsApp

  • June 19, 2021 at 8:09 am

    Thanks for liking my post

  • June 19, 2021 at 12:06 pm

    Nice picture. Surprises make me anxious. I like being anxious.

  • June 19, 2021 at 3:55 pm

    Nice piece here. Please reach out to at:
    Email: amphy2000@gmail.com
    I will be anticipating your reply

  • June 19, 2021 at 9:03 pm

    This is a beautiful story. I will come back for more!

  • June 19, 2021 at 10:07 pm

    Beautifully written, I love the unique style of writing and hope to learn more from you as a budding writer.

  • Neetu
    June 20, 2021 at 1:41 am

    “The phrase was the closing line of a spell” is the best line of writing.

    • June 21, 2021 at 5:39 pm

      Aren’t we all trying to cast spells?

      • June 23, 2021 at 2:01 pm

        Yes, we all are trying to cast spells but you are doing the most.

  • June 20, 2021 at 4:57 am

    It makes me happy to see that you are pursuing a creative passion and getting good feedback. All the best in the future!

  • June 20, 2021 at 6:00 am

    Thanks for following my content and my posts!
    Nice stories you tell here! Keep up the good work. 🙂

  • Gina U
    June 20, 2021 at 8:19 am

    Your writing always leaves me wanting MORE!

    • June 21, 2021 at 5:45 pm

      That’s good because there’s so much more where that comes from.

  • June 20, 2021 at 8:34 am

    Thanks, Sebastian for liking my post “MY MORNING ROUTiNE

  • June 20, 2021 at 8:36 am

    I like the pics you put before your post

  • June 20, 2021 at 9:27 am

    A great hook…..to be continued????

  • June 20, 2021 at 3:35 pm

    Who are you?

  • June 20, 2021 at 4:17 pm

    Love how this line show’s his disorientation: “Do you think she looks cute?” said someone around him. Of course, at that moment, Gabin couldn’t recognize the person who was talking to him.” Good work here. Love flash fiction, My take is that these are faery folk? He’s in danger of being transported or abducted as they are wont to do?

  • June 20, 2021 at 6:47 pm

    Thanks very much for your great work in fictions and publications.
    Like your encouragement and support.
    Bravo!

  • June 20, 2021 at 6:48 pm

    More than conqueror!!

  • June 20, 2021 at 11:01 pm

    Nice one.

  • June 21, 2021 at 9:07 am

    Thanks, Sebastian for liking The last lesson

  • June 21, 2021 at 9:27 am

    Sometimes it is the unknown that stretches a person’s perception and his or her eyes see differently. Love has a lot to do with the mental perception of what is perceived. I pondered over where it will go or will it end with an unchanged perception.
    An engaging excerpt.
    Shalom aleichem

  • June 21, 2021 at 10:26 am

    Beautiful 👍

  • June 21, 2021 at 8:43 pm

    magnificence

  • June 21, 2021 at 10:04 pm

    Thanks for your view Sebastian. Appreciate the support. I had not thought to use this medium for book bits. Good idea.

    • June 27, 2021 at 8:00 am

      Blog fiction is a growing alternative for readers with limited time.

  • June 22, 2021 at 2:45 am

    I enjoyed this short work. I think flash fiction and shorter than short but longer than flash fiction will become a trend in the near future. People want stories on their phones on break and such.

  • June 22, 2021 at 3:20 am

    Hi

  • June 22, 2021 at 3:24 am

    Thank you Sabastian for viewing and liking my post may the Lord richly bless you.I would like you to lecture me more about WordPress sins am a teenager

  • June 22, 2021 at 8:38 am

    Nice distraction to have when facing such a stressful time, Could she have been the inspector though?

    • June 27, 2021 at 8:12 am

      Feel free to come back when you need to. It could have been the inspector! That is an interesting idea.

  • June 22, 2021 at 8:59 am

    Thanks, Sebastian for reading my post

  • June 22, 2021 at 10:06 am

    Seb the celebrity

  • June 22, 2021 at 3:23 pm

    This is a great piece, love the read – just beautiful.

  • June 22, 2021 at 9:47 pm

    Where city

  • June 22, 2021 at 9:48 pm

    Beautiful sky

  • June 22, 2021 at 11:07 pm

    Love never fails, eh? Gotto disappoint you. When it is real love, appearance becomes a non-issue.

  • June 23, 2021 at 12:52 am

    Oh to face such a distraction during an audit! This can’t end well!

  • June 24, 2021 at 4:02 am

    True facts

  • June 25, 2021 at 2:10 am

    Beautiful story🥺
    I’m in awe.

    • June 27, 2021 at 9:15 am

      Like Gabin when the storm calms down and he remembers that life is waiting for him.

  • June 25, 2021 at 3:08 am

    I thought this happens to me alone… But it seemed you are telling a true story 🙂

  • June 25, 2021 at 6:22 am

    I think this is awesome!

  • June 26, 2021 at 1:47 pm

    Love the twist and suspense.

  • June 29, 2021 at 11:31 am

    Yes life always surprised us, still we plan for future we don’t know ,we can stay or not , But if you do what you want without planning, it will bring more happiness(according to me)

  • June 29, 2021 at 8:16 pm

    this was a very nice read – i really like your writing style!

    • July 13, 2021 at 8:09 am

      I’m glad it’s working for you and I hope you enjoy my next stories.

  • July 1, 2021 at 2:10 am

    Really well penned.. Keep it up👍

  • July 5, 2021 at 9:23 pm

    Just read your thoughtful and well-made article! 5 stars!!!

  • July 6, 2021 at 3:33 am

    Loved your writing my friend!

  • July 10, 2021 at 11:14 pm

    This is captivating

  • July 13, 2021 at 10:31 pm

    Beautiful play of words. Loved it

  • July 14, 2021 at 4:33 pm

    An intriging beginning

  • July 15, 2021 at 8:39 am

    The eerie entertainment is so illuminating.

  • July 15, 2021 at 8:59 am

    A nice peace

  • July 21, 2021 at 11:52 am

    Just waoo👌
    And thanks

  • Emma
    July 22, 2021 at 4:25 am

    What a lovely talent for writing! I love it. Have to find the beginning, but looking through the posts. You have a way of inviting new ones in, even if they weren’t there from the beginning! Which is awesome! Keep on writing!!!

  • July 26, 2021 at 2:08 pm

    Keep up your good work. Thanks for your work, and your words of encouragement.

  • Katelynn
    September 5, 2021 at 4:16 am

    I can’t get enough of your short stories. I started reading them earlier and I literally feel like I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole, in the best way possible of course. Can’t wait to continue reading and keep up the fantastic work!

  • September 27, 2021 at 6:23 am

    Depth in your personality can clearly be seen through your words..
    Keep up the Good work…

  • January 6, 2022 at 12:40 am

    I am glad he is invited.

  • January 9, 2022 at 1:09 am

    Will Gabin get to see her again???

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    Author's Note
    The Andes' highlands served as a source of inspiration for this short story. I hope you'll find the same beauty and wonder in its words that I did while crafting it.
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