Walking alone in the middle of nature was not enough to clear his mind of an endless feed of thoughts. The memory of his struggles with money kept him from concentrating on the present: it became almost impossible for Pedro to enjoy the beautiful scenery that surrounded him―eventually reality caught up with him. Trying not to lose his temper, Pedro looked for a way back, each step reaffirming his situation. He got lost.
Pedro stopped in the middle of the mountain. Looking from side to side. Trying to find the path that led him there: he couldn’t remember. Instantly, his worries lost all importance―night began to fall and a cold breeze enveloped him. His only way out was through a downhill forest. Nature’s common green quickly turned to darkness.
His heart beat faster with every step he took. Finally, Pedro’s heartbeat echoed in his mind and the rhythm increased his desperation.
In the distance, Pedro saw a dim light, that had to be the sign he was looking for. Relief gave him strength. He approached the source of the light slowly. Controlling his breath to slow his heartbeats. The streetlight was alone, in the middle of nowhere, illuminating an unusual place. Pedro walked towards it. There he found an excavation site with heavy machinery. Civilization had to be close.
The excavation site was wide, its tallest wall being at least ten feet high. Pedro instantly noticed a large tunnel entrance and forgot his urgency. He did not think about it and looked for a way to enter the excavation site.
It was difficult to see the cave from a distance. He walked around the edge, looking for a suitable place to go down the wall. Inside he saw mud and thought that the place could have been a reservoir…a strong breeze passed around him and the whistle of the wind called his attention.
Pedro climbed down and walked toward the cave. The tunnel entrance was clearly a man-made concrete construction. He stopped a few steps from the cave to investigate and found symbols etched into the outline of the entrance. They had no meaning for him, yet there was a sequence that repeated eight times.
A chilling sensation ran down his spine and the need to enter the cave grew inside Pedro. However, his fear of the unknown was stronger. I couldn’t live with the regret of not looking at what’s inside, he thought.
He took a step forward and entered the cave. Nothing. His fears disappeared. There was nothing special about the place. The darkness made it impossible to see deeper than a couple of feet. There was no point in walking in without a flashlight.
Pedro felt a strange energy enter his body. He instantly felt rested. The memory of his wasted time in the woods came back to him. Reliving the long hours desperately searching for a way down the mountain. All the dead ends he found. Wasted time walking uphill to find a new path. His need to go home became all he could think of.
Pedro turned to leave the dark entrance to the cave and took a step forward… his face slammed into something. From top to bottom, he studied the invisible wall. There was no way out. Trapped inside something he couldn’t understand. Hitting the wall did nothing. Pedro’s efforts were useless. His heart was beating faster and faster.
A chilling cold seemed to pull him into the cave. Pedro kept his gaze fixed on the outside. Leaning his body against the invisible wall. Waiting for it to disappear. Afraid to turn around. Imagining the responsible standing behind him.
Time passed and Pedro kept his hands against the glass. He felt a clear message from the cave in his mind: a thought that warned him of the dangers within the cave. The voice was slightly different from his own. Pedro finally turned around and the message became clear. He understood.
Pedro was surprised by the familiarity of the thing he encountered. A floating light without arms or legs, floating in the middle of the tunnel. Its color was bright and a warm feeling seemed to radiate from him.
The light creature backed away slowly. Somehow, Pedro knew when the creature turned and gave him its back. Then he saw a bright light coming from inside the tunnel. Pedro received a blow that pushed him outside. The fall took his breath away. When he opened his eyes, Pedro was on the floor in front of his house. Ready to leave the day behind.
It can be so scary alone, in a strange place, light fading and not knowing which way to turn
A good read.
For a minute, I thought I was in the cave alongside Pedro….it’s a testament to the exquisite descriptive prowess you continue to exhibit…..future New York bestseller without a doubt.
I enjoyed the journey😊
I could feel his heart beat impacting my heart beat! At times feeling like I was in the cave with him trying to tell him not to go any further! What was in the cave with him? You left me wanting more😊👍🏼
I love the way you paint the seen so gracefully and the juxtaposition of the quick dramatic end.
He was lured like a moth to a flame, but it didn’t burn him. It saved him. The unknown gave him a night of sanctuary, before returning him home safely … or was it all a dream. There is definitely much to expand on what you have encapsulated within the short story.
💖👏I believe if you follow your heart and instinct you can always find your way home, or your destined path, and it’s never a smooth journey, and that’s the best part for that roller-coaster journey it embeds the footprints to the path of your home forever.
Wish my blog site was half the looks of yours and wish my blogs were as compelling as your story here. I read these and I am reminded of EA Poe
Yes! Very Poe-like!!!
I couldn’t stop halfway.
That was quite an experience poor Pedro had. Good writing.
Adorei mais este maravilhoso conto escrito com muita imaginação !! muita fã de seus contos e da maneira como escreve.
I couldn’t stop
very addicting to read. WOW!!
I love this story. I believe if you follow your instinct you can find hope.
I am always careless of what I wish for so that I enjoy the surprise.
Fascinating experience the struggle-worn Pedro has had; right at the point where he is living in the present (instead of scaling the finance issues mountain) is when his displacing situation, the realization he is lost, takes over. It woos him off the mountain he couldnt scale and toward a symbolic lightstand in nowhere-land; a spirit of hope, a cryptic metaphorical message? What is the excavated cave and concrete entrance? what is the significance of the inscription that meant nothing yet its pattern of eight iterations was noted–some kind of clue to why Pedro is busted free yet finds himself “coming to his senses” literally prostrate at his front door. Hmmmm….? I liked thinking on this story. Well-done.
(Only one slight thing amiss in it for me:
“Imagining the responsible standing behind him.”
Seems a word or phrase might be missing?)
An angel of light in the darkness of the night, blocking the fear and handing out might.
amazing post. keep it up
Excellent narration. I enjoyed the journey. Darkness to light symbolising dream to wakefulness. Excellent 👌
You write such intriguing stories that sometimes I get jealous of you, and I think why this story didn’t come to my mind.
Too much telling and no showing. Showing keeps your narrative under your control. This story remind me of what Plato wrote (or whoever) about the cave and knowledge. Always borrow from the classics. You can’t go wrong.