The darkness fell behind William, while he slowly walked down the path back home. He tried to recall his steps, but the dense clouds covered everything around him, and his surroundings turned into a maze he couldn’t remember.
Just a few hours ago, sunlight illuminated the beautiful landscaping of the Andean mountains—now he was only able to see a few steps in front of him.
I’m lost, he thought, noticing that the heavy mist stood lifeless on top of him. I’ll have to find shelter.
Nevertheless, the first drops of rain fell on his forehead and his possibilities for survival diminished.
The mountain is treacherous to those who are not aware of its signs. The day was supposed to be relaxing, although William had almost forgotten all the troubles awaiting him back home.
Perhaps this was the way the universe answered his prayers. After all, William had been repeating in his mind, over and over again, his desire to get away from his problems. Life was giving him what he wanted in the least expected way.
William moved quickly through the branches and bushes of an unfamiliar forest. Trying in vain to find shelter from the rain. To his surprise, the hill had prepared an abandoned tunnel for him. There, he could hide from the rain… although he was not the only one seeking shelter.
Even in a forest so close to a city, nature laws expanded its domain. Unknowingly, William found peace when he saw the perfectly circular cave entrance at the distance, and without consideration for his safety he entered it.
The tunnel looked like a human construction without an apparent function. It seemed like a pipeline to prevent landslides, William thought unsure of his imagination. The scarce sunlight only reached a few meters inside the artificial cave, beyond it one could only see an endless dark void. Even the sounds of his step seemed different, from what he was used to, as he walked inside.
William did not intend to inspect the cave, staying only at the entrance to cover himself from the rain—trying not to look at the depth that seemed to call his name. It was impossible for him to remain calm without knowing that something else could be found in the dark. So he took his cell phone and turned on his flashlight.
Lying against the tunnel wall was a creature with bare skin and long thin arms—with deep dark circles around its eyes. William blinked, holding his breath and noticed with surprise that the figure disappeared.
I have to get out of here, he told himself, turning to see the heavy rain falling outside the cave.
“Where are you going?”
The deep voice came suddenly. William lost control of his body, he even tried to scream, but fear kept him frozen for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he regained his breath and slowly turned to look inside the cave.
It’s all in my head, he thought to reassure himself. As his body stopped trembling.
A pair of glowing eyes appeared in the tunnel. William graved his cell phone to illuminate the darkness, but he couldn’t see the lurking creature.
I should have a signal by now, he thought while looking at the screen of his cell phone. When a loud sound, like the bursting of two rocks, came from the deepness of the tunnel.
I rather get wet by the rain, William thought and turned to walk out of the cave. Then, he saw a panther for the first time. The animal lurked slowly under the rain—driving its powerful paws on the mud with every step.
William’s mind went blank, he finally managed to lose focus on everything that wasn’t behind the menacing eyes of the beast. A strange sensation, almost like a wave took everything with it, just like the feeling of having lost everything. The only thing left was right in front of him.
Without consideration, William ran back into the tunnel—the darkness absorbed him completely and after a few steps the ground disappeared under his feet. The fall didn’t seem to have an end, meanwhile William couldn’t imagine what would happen when his body crashed at the bottom. Somehow, the only thing he could see was the present.
William flew through a perpetual darkness; floating on an endless void. Until, to his surprise, his back made contact with a wall that gradually slowed his fall, and safely let him at the foot of a stone slide.
There, a brightly shining light blinded him for an instant. William looked at the source of radiance and understood, this was the reason why his ancestors hid the most precious treasures in the heart of a volcano.
Knowledge engulfed him like a cascade of wisdom crashing over his head.
William’s eyes widened when the rescue team secured him to the helicopter’s stretcher. The search party had been looking for him for two weeks, although for him it felt just like a couple of hours.
Few know the secrets of our ancestors, and despite his attempts, William wasn’t able to find the portal’s door again.
Thanks, I was lucky enough to write this fleeting idea.
Sebastian, I’m curious; why do you always leave loose ends in your stories? What was the thing that William discovered?
I believe it’s a trend that has been happening more often than I would like, but is just the way of my words. I’m sure that you’ll be able to discover all of the secrets on future visits to my blog.
The imagination in your stories really keeps me entertained. Have a great day! 🙂
I’ll try to keep them coming.
I found this Lovecraftian but more relatable, warmer, more accessible vocabulary, and I loved the mention of the “ancestors” at the end: right there it just evoked such awe and love. I’m going to keep reading these.
I’m glad you liked it and I hope you enjoy the rest.
Awesome blog, I want to read more
Take a look around, there’s a lot more coming.
Thank you for stopping by my universe.
I love that you have English and Spanish versions of your story. Which language did you first write it in? Gracias!
Thanks. It all depends on the mood of the day.
As a 95 year old fart trying to make sense of a civilization celebrating its rush to several possibilities of obliteration I much appreciate the struggle of a few people to accept the intricate puzzle of current existence.
It’s an honor to be read by some one like you. I hope you enjoy my tales.
Since I am at a total loss to discover even a theoretical way to reverse the possibilities of frightful obliterations in the very near future of this entire planet I am certainly not in a class to deserve any honors. The several hundred offerings on my site of a rather peculiar attempt at poetry extend no more opportunities than the chirp of an optimistic sparrow caught in a tsunami.
I enjoyed the visit to William’s world. Seems like the enlightenment is so often preceded by the cataclysmic fall.
wow! this is beautiful. I have learnt alot.
I’m glad and I hope you enjoy my other short stories too.
I will share your site on my Facebook page!
That means a lot to me, thanks.
Interesting. There’s a promise of a good story here, but also something missing. I apologize if that sounds harsh. I don’t mean it to be. As a writer, I try to encourage those who are good to become better. To those that aren’t, I say nothing. There’s too much negativity on the web as it is.
Its a good piece. Nice short story.
I’m glad you liked it.
I shared it to facebook.
That means a lot to me.
Love/light beautiful reflection.
As another author, I love the way you write. Obvious, that you have beautiful talent. However, I do not see the certainty of creative energy coming from nature, but from the God who created it. Yet, in my opposing opinion I can meet you on other grounds and enjoy your posts. Therefore, I wish to follow your blog. Thank you for “liking one of my posts.
I really appreciate it and hope the creative energy flows through us.
I hope you enjoyed it.
Your post was great
There are many more waiting to be read. Thanks.
Good read. Thank you so much for reading my blog this morning. Please subscribe for next blog.
I’m glad you liked it and thank you for the invitation.
scary and hopeful at the same time
A good reader can make any story meaningful. Thanks.
Thank you for your Hint about the Sight of civil strory comparings, I will have a look at your Site as I understand it is all about the natural Civilized – civil , Culture – Story as to leave a note to every-body and anyone who might and may want to avoid any clash and crash of Civilized Parrallels –
The Site looks quite nice with my best greetings and salutations
smilings;@)☺️😘😚😇😍😜😂😊😉🤣Sorrisoni’Samantha B. Medugno on todays day
Saturday twentyfour/24. April 2021 from Mercogliano AV Italy
Well written! Suspenseful and evenly paced!
I tried to take you on a journey alongside my characters. I’m happy you enjoyed it.
Beautiful ! Thank you for liking my post for Spiritual Life Coaching. A great gift to give for Mother’s Day. Namaste Katharine
I’m happy you found it beautiful, Katharine. It was a pleasure visiting your blog.
A stimulating read.
Food for thought.
Understand you like my “Kleshas”. Good knowing someone read it. Thanks.
“Guard Mount” was even better, thanks.
Thank you so much for your support! GOD BLESS You
We’re here to support each other. I hope to see you back soon for more short stories.
Excellent read, which would certainly appeal to teenagers. Well done.
I appreciate it, Phil. I’ll look for them and share my stories.
What I like is the comparison between what life looks like, as compared to the possibility of an eternity apart from light and safety.
I think that William only thought he wanted an escape, what he really needed was some perspective.
God offers light and love, especially when are not looking for that.
True, we just need to be open and expect the light when it shows up.
For all time sake, Take me and you for example, we both make post right. But what is different from each other is that we have different styles and you wanna know what’s better than style. Your Stories Are, How do you get so good at this 🙂
If you don’t know who i am, my name is charles and just like you i make post, but mine are daily and my mission is to ensure that everyone can be educated in the best way, in another words I Make sure high school and college students are well educated. have a nice day.
Practice Charles, it’s all about practice.
Beautifully written tale as you caught my interest right from the beginning and held it to the end. Keep on writing more!
I’m glad you enjoyed my short story. I’ll try to make more like it soon, see you next time.
Nice website. Thanks for visiting mine : https://bit.ly/3vIQWTx
It was a pleasure, and I hope you’re enjoying my short stories. I’ll be posting more next week.
Awesome.. good to know u.. appreciate u reading blog n liking it.. spread the word
I’m glad you enjoyed my short story. We’re here to help each other, see you back soon.
Nice narrative! Carried out so well. Enjoyed reading!
I appreciate your comment and I’m happy to know you enjoyed my story. I hope to see you back soon.
Different, I liked it.
Makes me happy to know you liked it. I’ll try to come up with more stories like it in the near future.
I like how you post in Spanish and the English translation. You might enable me to brush up on my Spanish.
That would be great, you won’t only let your imagination free but also brush up your Spanish.
Unique post! 🙂
It makes me happy to know you liked it. I’ll come up with more. See you back soon.
“Hope forces and influences Wishes come True
brining us through the darkness into lightness respossible for us
surviving and conquering all and whatever challenging us.” _-Van Prince
Dedication seems like the secret to conquer the unknown. Your beautiful words will guide our paths.
A few typos. But an interesting story. What is the point of the story? What is the protagonist’s motivation? Why is he in the Andean mountains? Back story is important. I’ve always found it the most interesting part of any story. The little details make story interesting to the reader. I remember what my godfather and writing mentor told me, “Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite; and always think of the audience.”
Thanks for your perspective.
I too found the story intriguing. I write novels, SF, and Fantasy. Your story shows great promise. You have great imagination. Except for so e minor continuity problems, it’s a good story. My personal opinion, It needs expanding iti a full novel, with the hinted at characters fleshed out. All in all though, it was a good read.
Seeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
Thanks Chief, I’ll keep it in my mind. For now I’m just glad you enjoyed it. See you back soon.
I like the story.theres thrill.i can imagine how can he escape from this beast or can he able to keep the beast calmly.
Thanks, It makes me happy to know you liked it. There are some beasts we can’t control.
You draw a picture with words!
Thanks, I hope you can see all my pictures to come.
Well done. I love the bit of being in the present and then losing the porthole. I feel a compelling story with spiritual insights coming from you. And of course I expect a signed copy in the first edition
It’s good to know you enjoyed it. Of course, I just hope someday I’ll become a print published author.
Great writing. I didn’t expect the panther. A scary surprise. Your writing really puts the reader in the moment that the character is in.
Thank you very much, I like to surprise my readers. I hope to have you back for more stories.
It is a pleasure to know that you are enjoying my stories.
Great story. Had fun reading it. Very interesting ending.
It’s good to know you think that way. The truth is that I enjoyed writing it. I hope to see you back soon.
Your Blog is so polished and professional and this one is written suspenseful! Good luck to you and do what you feel in your heart of course!
God bless you!
Your positive energy means a lot to me, whenever I find it I want to keep it forever. I hope to see you back soon.
How are you? Thank you for that compliment and I’m happy to hear I had some positive impact on you! I did immediately see the fine effort and quality in your blog site!
These are crazy and even sad to frightening times and any insight, Truth or inspiration we can afford another or share is critically needed because people will be giving up if we are truly in End Time which I do believe we are now; without a doubt! But eternity awaits for all and where in that retirement will each of us be is the biggest question and motivation for me now; I see my mistakes and sins but I know though I’m a fallen broken being I have a better heart than that, and see that I don’t want to waste it or lose my opportunity to be eternally happy and with God!
If I can help in some way just let me know. You can feel free to email me at my home page listed email address as well; if that will be better for any reason!
God bless you.
This is even more owe full to read than my post on northern Uganda, aSebestian
My intention is simply to entertain my readers even for a moment. Thank you for your kind words. I hope to see you back soon!
Thank you for sharing your writing. I enjoyed the ideas, but did find it difficult to follow exactly where the story was going at some points. Might be a quirk of this particular story and your writing style. If so great! Our maybe a bit of editing would have helped clear up the narrative gems a bit. 😊
Keep on writing!
I agree, the truth is that I’m leaving aside certain aspects that should be improved. I’m glad to know that you care enough to let me know, that takes courage in this time of little tolerance. Thank you for your advice, I will take it to heart. I hope to see you back and check on my writing.
I love the way the story unfolds.
I’m very glad to know that you enjoyed it. Hope to see you next week for more stories.
Thank you for reading my blogs Try like you do to be interesting for my readers .
That is the most important thing, helping others to have a good time. We’ll continue reading each other to share the inspiration, I hope.
It was cool👍👍
It’s nice to know that you enjoyed it, I’ll have more stories soon.
You are a great writer.
I appreciate your recognition, but it’s enough for me to see you return for more stories.
Thank you for liking my post
I appreciate it and thank you for posting. I hope you can come back for my next story.
Good stuff, Sebastian. Thanks for sharing your gift.
How nice to know that you liked my story. It’s a pleasure for me to share the fruit of my craft.
It’s true that our ancestors open doors of hope for us, they can be in any form, but we have to find them. Great written.., thanks for it.
Thank you for your kind words. I hope that we continue finding doors that remain undiscovered.
We must continue to finding undiscovered doors until our death, because we have to solve some mystery in our daily life.
I think you are a storyteller extraordinaire. I enjoy meeting fellow Christians. Thanks for following tgifmasterminds.com
Thanks, I really enjoy writing. The pleasure was all mine and I hope to see you back soon.
This is great writing and the realm of the unknown is distant but far at the same time. You have a gift for short stories.
Thank you Christine, I’m very happy to know that you’re enjoying my stories.
Hello Sebastian and thank you for the like. Thoroughly enjoyed your story, it gripped me through the lines. I was not disappointed in the ending, as over the years i have read a great number of short stories – decidedly my favorite! Dostoevsky being one those authors, absolutely brilliant. Many authors use this style you have and I find it leaves me (each to their own) free to use the one gift we all have – imagination. Well done and keep up the excellent and tastefully written works. Peter
Hello Peter, it is an honor to be mentioned in the same paragraph as Dostoevsky. You are too kind! I hope my future stories live up to your expectations.
Hello Sebastian. Thank you so much for your support. Please forgive me for thinking your Blog looks so Dark. But, you have many followers and I hope this encourages you to be Positive. GOD BLESS.
Roberta, thank you for your comment. The truth is that the light-over-dark theme of my blog is to protect the eyes of my readers; it took me time to understand the damage of excessive brightness. However, my words are positive and filled with the love that transcends through me.
Incredible! I love the mystery at the end.. was it a dream? Was it an experience shown by ancestors, but only for a brief time? The fables he’s heard make you wonder- could it have been real? Fun to read, you leave me wanting more, as usual! I want to try writing fiction myself… any tips? \
Mel, I see that you’re enjoying my stories. Writing fiction is easy… you just have to let your imagination run wild… of course mine was always a bit more volatile than that of the people I’ve known.
Great story, very unexpected ending.
David, you’re too kind. I hope my next story is also of your liking.
Beautifully written story.
Skittz, I’m glad you enjoyed it. Remember that my entire blog is full of fiction, please enjoy your visit.
“…the heavy mist stood lifeless on top of him.” Great line! Interesting read. Thanks for liking my blog post, I appreciate it!
Cheryl, thanks for stopping by. Beautiful horses by the way. I hope you have time to do the full walkthrough of my fiction blog. Maybe you will find something inspiring.
Thanks for your like of my post, “Micah In Prophecy 2 – 710 B.C. – Micah 5:2-3.;” you are very kind.
Israel, it’s a pleasure. I hope you are enjoying my fiction blog.
Thank you very much.
I enjoyed the story and thanks for liking my post
Calista, it’s a pleasure to have you here. I hope you keep writing and come back in search of inspiration whenever you want.
Ms. Calista, I’m a writer *&* poet and that-which I look for in writing-does it has natural beauty akin to a woman with natural beauty, do the content follow the course of natural beauty, and I find that natural beauty in some Mr. SEBASTIANITURRALDE’S content yet not all of it, but the creation he manifested herein conprise poetic natural beauty!!!
Okay. I decide i want to follow your blog.. Your stories make my imagination going wild.
I’m happy that you have finally arrived. Enjoy the ride!
Loved the suspense!
Then you’re going to love my fiction blog.
Great works on fiction.
Thanks for your time and comnents
An idea that occurred to me on a terrifying hike.
Hahaha ha! Keep it up.
Thanks for the like on my apricot almond cake recipe post, Sebastián. Thanks, too, for introducing me to your site.
I’m only sharing my recipes to feed our imaginations.
Sebastian, great story teller and writer. I enjoy the plots and flow of your writings.
Wow Sebastian that was great. Scary!!! You are great ay writing short stories.
Hi Sebastian, exciting idea for a short story. I enjoyed the ending! I’d encourage you to write another for sure. Maybe another short story related to it, but not directly. Like a sister story. Something to consider as it seems others were left desiring more information as well! Maybe something will come to you in your dreams tonight dear 🙂
I chose your random story and ended up here. Appropriate because I keep grabbing for hope and cannot grasp it.
Your picture!! I came because of your picture!! Love it!!
I have been very busy trying to save my own life and have neglected pleasure. Thank you for this bit of hope.
The ultimate beauty of creation lies in the absolute freedom of expression. I enjoy your colorful descriptions, Sebastian. Keep sharing your dreams!
Have you ever considered creating an ebook or guest authoring on other websites?
I have a blog based upon on the same ideas you discuss
and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my viewers would enjoy your work.
If you are even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e mail.