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Gates of Hope

Sailing through the stars

My Favorite Sin

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Sebastián Iturralde
March 24, 2021
4 minute read
Dark Light
The story of a trip that ended up becoming a nightmare for more than one person. Although some received just what they were looking for.

The darkness fell behind William, while he slowly walked down the path back home. He tried to recall his steps, but the dense clouds covered everything around him, and his surroundings turned into a maze he couldn’t remember.

Just a few hours ago, sunlight illuminated the beautiful landscaping of the Andean mountains—now he was only able to see a few steps in front of him.

I’m lost, he thought, noticing that the heavy mist stood lifeless on top of him. I’ll have to find shelter.

Nevertheless, the first drops of rain fell on his forehead and his possibilities for survival diminished.

The mountain is treacherous to those who are not aware of its signs. The day was supposed to be relaxing, although William had almost forgotten all the troubles awaiting him back home.

Perhaps this was the way the universe answered his prayers. After all, William had been repeating in his mind, over and over again, his desire to get away from his problems. Life was giving him what he wanted in the least expected way.

William moved quickly through the branches and bushes of an unfamiliar forest. Trying in vain to find shelter from the rain. To his surprise, the hill had prepared an abandoned tunnel for him. There, he could hide from the rain… although he was not the only one seeking shelter.

Even in a forest so close to a city, nature laws expanded its domain. Unknowingly, William found peace when he saw the perfectly circular cave entrance at the distance, and without consideration for his safety he entered it.

The tunnel looked like a human construction without an apparent function. It seemed like a pipeline to prevent landslides, William thought unsure of his imagination. The scarce sunlight only reached a few meters inside the artificial cave, beyond it one could only see an endless dark void. Even the sounds of his step seemed different, from what he was used to, as he walked inside.

William did not intend to inspect the cave, staying only at the entrance to cover himself from the rain—trying not to look at the depth that seemed to call his name. It was impossible for him to remain calm without knowing that something else could be found in the dark. So he took his cell phone and turned on his flashlight.

Lying against the tunnel wall was a creature with bare skin and long thin arms—with deep dark circles around its eyes. William blinked, holding his breath and noticed with surprise that the figure disappeared.

I have to get out of here, he told himself, turning to see the heavy rain falling outside the cave.

“Where are you going?”

The deep voice came suddenly. William lost control of his body, he even tried to scream, but fear kept him frozen for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he regained his breath and slowly turned to look inside the cave.

Nothing…

It’s all in my head, he thought to reassure himself. As his body stopped trembling.

A pair of glowing eyes appeared in the tunnel. William graved his cell phone to illuminate the darkness, but he couldn’t see the lurking creature.

I should have a signal by now, he thought while looking at the screen of his cell phone. When a loud sound, like the bursting of two rocks, came from the deepness of the tunnel.

I rather get wet by the rain, William thought and turned to walk out of the cave. Then, he saw a panther for the first time. The animal lurked slowly under the rain—driving its powerful paws on the mud with every step.

William’s mind went blank, he finally managed to lose focus on everything that wasn’t behind the menacing eyes of the beast. A strange sensation, almost like a wave took everything with it, just like the feeling of having lost everything. The only thing left was right in front of him.

Without consideration, William ran back into the tunnel—the darkness absorbed him completely and after a few steps the ground disappeared under his feet. The fall didn’t seem to have an end, meanwhile William couldn’t imagine what would happen when his body crashed at the bottom. Somehow, the only thing he could see was the present.

William flew through a perpetual darkness; floating on an endless void. Until, to his surprise, his back made contact with a wall that gradually slowed his fall, and safely let him at the foot of a stone slide.

There, a brightly shining light blinded him for an instant. William looked at the source of radiance and understood, this was the reason why his ancestors hid the most precious treasures in the heart of a volcano.

Knowledge engulfed him like a cascade of wisdom crashing over his head.

William’s eyes widened when the rescue team secured him to the helicopter’s stretcher. The search party had been looking for him for two weeks, although for him it felt just like a couple of hours.

Few know the secrets of our ancestors, and despite his attempts, William wasn’t able to find the portal’s door again.

Author

Sebastián Iturralde

Writer of enigmatic tales, weaving captivating narratives that provoke thought and stir the imagination. Unveiling the depths of human experience through words.
151 comments

        1. I believe it’s a trend that has been happening more often than I would like, but is just the way of my words. I’m sure that you’ll be able to discover all of the secrets on future visits to my blog.

  3. I found this Lovecraftian but more relatable, warmer, more accessible vocabulary, and I loved the mention of the “ancestors” at the end: right there it just evoked such awe and love. I’m going to keep reading these.

  7. As a 95 year old fart trying to make sense of a civilization celebrating its rush to several possibilities of obliteration I much appreciate the struggle of a few people to accept the intricate puzzle of current existence.

      1. Since I am at a total loss to discover even a theoretical way to reverse the possibilities of frightful obliterations in the very near future of this entire planet I am certainly not in a class to deserve any honors. The several hundred offerings on my site of a rather peculiar attempt at poetry extend no more opportunities than the chirp of an optimistic sparrow caught in a tsunami.

      1. Interesting. There’s a promise of a good story here, but also something missing. I apologize if that sounds harsh. I don’t mean it to be. As a writer, I try to encourage those who are good to become better. To those that aren’t, I say nothing. There’s too much negativity on the web as it is.

  13. As another author, I love the way you write. Obvious, that you have beautiful talent. However, I do not see the certainty of creative energy coming from nature, but from the God who created it. Yet, in my opposing opinion I can meet you on other grounds and enjoy your posts. Therefore, I wish to follow your blog. Thank you for “liking one of my posts.

  18. Thank you for your Hint about the Sight of civil strory comparings, I will have a look at your Site as I understand it is all about the natural Civilized – civil , Culture – Story as to leave a note to every-body and anyone who might and may want to avoid any clash and crash of Civilized Parrallels –

    The Site looks quite nice with my best greetings and salutations

    smilings;@)☺️😘😚😇😍😜😂😊😉🤣Sorrisoni’Samantha B. Medugno on todays day

    Saturday twentyfour/24. April 2021 from Mercogliano AV Italy

  25. What I like is the comparison between what life looks like, as compared to the possibility of an eternity apart from light and safety.

    I think that William only thought he wanted an escape, what he really needed was some perspective.

    God offers light and love, especially when are not looking for that.

  26. For all time sake, Take me and you for example, we both make post right. But what is different from each other is that we have different styles and you wanna know what’s better than style. Your Stories Are, How do you get so good at this 🙂
    If you don’t know who i am, my name is charles and just like you i make post, but mine are daily and my mission is to ensure that everyone can be educated in the best way, in another words I Make sure high school and college students are well educated. have a nice day.

  27. Beautifully written tale as you caught my interest right from the beginning and held it to the end. Keep on writing more!

  34. “Hope forces and influences Wishes come True
    brining us through the darkness into lightness respossible for us
    surviving and conquering all and whatever challenging us.” _-Van Prince

  35. A few typos. But an interesting story. What is the point of the story? What is the protagonist’s motivation? Why is he in the Andean mountains? Back story is important. I’ve always found it the most interesting part of any story. The little details make story interesting to the reader. I remember what my godfather and writing mentor told me, “Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite; and always think of the audience.”

  36. I too found the story intriguing. I write novels, SF, and Fantasy. Your story shows great promise. You have great imagination. Except for so e minor continuity problems, it’s a good story. My personal opinion, It needs expanding iti a full novel, with the hinted at characters fleshed out. All in all though, it was a good read.

    Seeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North

  39. Well done. I love the bit of being in the present and then losing the porthole. I feel a compelling story with spiritual insights coming from you. And of course I expect a signed copy in the first edition

  40. Great writing. I didn’t expect the panther. A scary surprise. Your writing really puts the reader in the moment that the character is in.

  43. Your Blog is so polished and professional and this one is written suspenseful! Good luck to you and do what you feel in your heart of course!
    God bless you!

      1. How are you? Thank you for that compliment and I’m happy to hear I had some positive impact on you! I did immediately see the fine effort and quality in your blog site!

        These are crazy and even sad to frightening times and any insight, Truth or inspiration we can afford another or share is critically needed because people will be giving up if we are truly in End Time which I do believe we are now; without a doubt! But eternity awaits for all and where in that retirement will each of us be is the biggest question and motivation for me now; I see my mistakes and sins but I know though I’m a fallen broken being I have a better heart than that, and see that I don’t want to waste it or lose my opportunity to be eternally happy and with God!

        If I can help in some way just let me know. You can feel free to email me at my home page listed email address as well; if that will be better for any reason!

        God bless you.
        Lawrence

  44. This is even more owe full to read than my post on northern Uganda, aSebestian

  45. Thank you for sharing your writing. I enjoyed the ideas, but did find it difficult to follow exactly where the story was going at some points. Might be a quirk of this particular story and your writing style. If so great! Our maybe a bit of editing would have helped clear up the narrative gems a bit. 😊

    Keep on writing!

    1. I agree, the truth is that I’m leaving aside certain aspects that should be improved. I’m glad to know that you care enough to let me know, that takes courage in this time of little tolerance. Thank you for your advice, I will take it to heart. I hope to see you back and check on my writing.

  52. It’s true that our ancestors open doors of hope for us, they can be in any form, but we have to find them. Great written.., thanks for it.

      1. We must continue to finding undiscovered doors until our death, because we have to solve some mystery in our daily life.

  55. Hello Sebastian and thank you for the like. Thoroughly enjoyed your story, it gripped me through the lines. I was not disappointed in the ending, as over the years i have read a great number of short stories – decidedly my favorite! Dostoevsky being one those authors, absolutely brilliant. Many authors use this style you have and I find it leaves me (each to their own) free to use the one gift we all have – imagination. Well done and keep up the excellent and tastefully written works. Peter

  56. Hello Sebastian. Thank you so much for your support. Please forgive me for thinking your Blog looks so Dark. But, you have many followers and I hope this encourages you to be Positive. GOD BLESS.

    1. Roberta, thank you for your comment. The truth is that the light-over-dark theme of my blog is to protect the eyes of my readers; it took me time to understand the damage of excessive brightness. However, my words are positive and filled with the love that transcends through me.

  57. Incredible! I love the mystery at the end.. was it a dream? Was it an experience shown by ancestors, but only for a brief time? The fables he’s heard make you wonder- could it have been real? Fun to read, you leave me wanting more, as usual! I want to try writing fiction myself… any tips? \

    1. Mel, I see that you’re enjoying my stories. Writing fiction is easy… you just have to let your imagination run wild… of course mine was always a bit more volatile than that of the people I’ve known.

    1. Cheryl, thanks for stopping by. Beautiful horses by the way. I hope you have time to do the full walkthrough of my fiction blog. Maybe you will find something inspiring.

  63. Ms. Calista, I’m a writer *&* poet and that-which I look for in writing-does it has natural beauty akin to a woman with natural beauty, do the content follow the course of natural beauty, and I find that natural beauty in some Mr. SEBASTIANITURRALDE’S content yet not all of it, but the creation he manifested herein conprise poetic natural beauty!!!

  67. Thanks for the like on my apricot almond cake recipe post, Sebastián. Thanks, too, for introducing me to your site.

  70. Hi Sebastian, exciting idea for a short story. I enjoyed the ending! I’d encourage you to write another for sure. Maybe another short story related to it, but not directly. Like a sister story. Something to consider as it seems others were left desiring more information as well! Maybe something will come to you in your dreams tonight dear 🙂

  71. I chose your random story and ended up here. Appropriate because I keep grabbing for hope and cannot grasp it.
    Your picture!! I came because of your picture!! Love it!!

    I have been very busy trying to save my own life and have neglected pleasure. Thank you for this bit of hope.

  72. The ultimate beauty of creation lies in the absolute freedom of expression. I enjoy your colorful descriptions, Sebastian. Keep sharing your dreams!

  73. Have you ever considered creating an ebook or guest authoring on other websites?
    I have a blog based upon on the same ideas you discuss
    and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my viewers would enjoy your work.
    If you are even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e mail.

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